Control Freak.

A Struggle to Freely Flow

Photo by GR Stocks on Unsplash

Is life about beating the odds?
Is life about proving them wrong?
Delaying the inevitable to give myself time to cushion the fall?
Planning strategically, with every step, can be exhausting at times

But this is how you win the game..
The way that’s worked for me anyway..
Allowing things to flow freely, would mean that I am okay with loss..
Can I bring myself to accept this?
The undesired reality becoming..
My reality,
Me..
Losing..
Can I really find peace in this?

I accept that “failing” is normal, and will happen in life,
Although I learn from it, I am afraid still,
To fail after giving so much time and effort..

I normally play until I win,
I pick up on my opponents’ strategies, and adjust in a way to gain the advantage,
I use my familiarity with the game as key to navigate across the board,
Outsmarting my opponents, and picking up on subtle hints that’ll lead me to victory,
Planting seeds that grow into venus flies that devour the enemy forces..

50/50 is not enough for me,
Investing my energy into the wrong places will give me little to no return,
Resulting in unfulfillment, I cannot accept..

We are responsible for our futures, our happiness,
Manipulation of others? Never..
Maneuvering within situations with the information gathered to better my chances?
To get what I want? Absolutely

Though things will not always go as planned, I move forward regardless..
I push, I fall, I think, I plan, I push, and repeat
Until I am victorious..
That is how you play, and win this game we call “Life”..
Forever on your guard, focused, and adaptive,
Even when winning seems impossible..

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Shawn Newsome. | My stories are a combination of my life’s experiences, the experiences of others, and the things that come to mind.

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Shawn Newsome. | My stories are a combination of my life’s experiences, the experiences of others, and the things that come to mind.